Friday, November 13, 2009
Chicken Sausage Not Up to Par!
I stumbled out of my bed and walked to my kitchen this morning. Threw open the fridge, grabbed Adelle's "Sweet-Apple" chicken sausage and tossed one of them babies in a frying pan. After a few minutes of breakfast prep I sat down with my egg, coffee, orange juice, and freshly-cooked sausage. Fox News was blaring in the background and I took a bite of that scrumptious-looking chicken meat rocket. It wasn't bad, I guess, but it certainly wasn't as good as pork sausage. Definitely not as good as scrapple. What pisses me off the most is that this sub-par chicken sausage pervades the breakfast menus of most local Santa Cruz eateries, preempting pork favorites. Goddamn New World Order fucks up everything...
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Yeah my sister eats that garbage, I usually go for the Bob Evans pork sausage. People who dont eat pork are assholes, chickens are far filthier animals but somehow got overlooked by the whole kosher/halal thing. I mean, have you ever driven near a chicken coop, you can smell that shit from miles away. I think that eating pork should be a prerequisite for becoming a US citizen, they should sit you down at a table and make you eat barbeque ribs while singing patriotic songs to prove your loyalty to Uncle Sam.
ReplyDeleteUncle Sam actually converted to Islam, he goes by Ammu Sami now. And he eats sweet apple fucking chicken sausage you fuckers!
ReplyDeleteWhen I wake up in the morning I do two things...I take a shit and then I eat bacon. It's rather unsettling however to open my fridge and have to dig through packets of Turkey bacon just to get to the real strips of lard. Now, I don't want to hate on my dread-headed roommate but, turkey bacon!?
ReplyDeleteThe definition of bacon is:
1) the back and sides of the hog, salted and dried or smoked, usually sliced thin and fried for food.
I think it's completely ridiculous that the high-cholesterol, all American breakfast food known as bacon has been subverted by the poultry industry. With that, I think it's necessary that we show these fowl-minded fuckers who's the boss and take back the pride and joy of America's breakfast table!